About writing

Writing has helped me through my darkest times when I was too embarrassed to ask for help. It was through writings that I was able to built a bridge made of reckless and poisonous thoughts to a place that brought me to the people who (used to be strangers then but) means a lot to me now. I remember flipping the page of my journal to the part where I wrote a letter to the person I adore so much and shamelessly asked him to read it. Little did I know, he fell in love with me through every words written in fears and insecurities. And he managed to grabbed me out of my dreadful thoughts and made me realized of so many things that I should feel lucky for. He thinks that my deep passion about emotions are rather fascinating than a burden for him to help with. My past failures has brought me to a world full of hopes and chances. I miss writing a lot of honest thoughts when I was in the state of being depressed- falling off the cliff into a pool of negativity. But nothing can ever compare to the feeling of being content towards everything. You know, to wake up everyday expecting something great is about to happen, to love what you're doing and doing what you love, to find peace when you're alone, to feel someone's love when they're worried sick about you...those kind of things that you'll tend to overlook when you're too busy being a slave to your sad feelings.

However, I'm still grasping for inspirations to write down the way I feel right now because to me, writing anything that's related to happiness is pretty hard when you're used to being sad and depressed the whole time. I know I haven't been updating my blog as frequent as I used to but trust me, I've been meaning to find the right time and inspirations to do so. Still, I failed too many times. I realize that my love towards writings and the whole idea of blogging had never die. They just faded away but they're still there; holding a rebel inside of me trying to set free through the tips of my hand.

fyzie zissy