• June 20, 2011

Ayah and I, London, 2003
I'm not that close to Ayah. He doesn't talk much to me and I never expect any words from him too. The only thing that he will talk about is education and of course, it pisses me off and I will start raising my voice and defend myself. So yeah, I will end up hurting his feelings. But you know, he doesn't really care.

I'm no longer his favorite daughter, we don't share the same hobbies anymore. I'm never good enough for him, there's always something about me that never seems to fit his expectations. And the fact that he always judge me for my flaws and compared me with some smart people kind of hurt me. It feels like I'm nothing to him; Like I'm not something that he can be proud of. Just for once I wish to hear him say, 'I will support you no matter what' but no, that doesn't sound like reality at all.

Looking back at the past, Ayah was the closest person to me than anybody else. I supposed that by the age of sixteen, every teenager will be a friend to their parents. Well at least, that's what my teacher told me. I wish I can make it possible, like talking about my day to Ayah and listen to him making jokes or maybe shares my problems with him and feels the warmth of his hug but you know, I ain't a good daughter to be gifted all that. So to you out there who experience countless of unforgettable memories with your dad, take a note from me; Appreciate every single moment you have to the bits. Because people like me never had the chance to experience those thing. And maybe it's too late for everything. Who knew.

I'm grateful for everything that God had given to me. He give me a Dad. And even though it didn't feels like he love me enough, I'm still glad for being one of his daughter.

To Ayah, Happy Father's Day!
May you have an awesome days ahead.

fyzie zissy


  1. SofieyAzwa, He sure is missing you too :)

    apis mansor, thank you! :}

    Hazirah :)- Aw thanks!

  2. urggh, it is my tears? i cried, maybe i'm just too over-sensitive, lol.......

  3. CAHAYA, Thanks :)

    Annysse Sophiellea, Lol how come you cried -.-

  4. fatini aziz, aw thanks :)

    Diba Way, not quite emotional huh. Haha

  5. me too.. sometimes i felt like i am never good enough to be his daughter.. But whatever happens, im so grateful cause atleast.. I have a dad to watch me grow up.. Nice post dear

  6. ayah want the best for you lah sis. all children felt the same. coz he wants you to be better.

  7. Engku Sofea, Yeah thats so true :) Thank you!

    ahmadbaihaqie abdrazak- I know, but some people are very close to their dad, Im a bit jealous of em.

  8. You know wht, reading this post really moves me. I just had a fight with my dad just now over something utterly stupid-_- So yeah, this is a really meaningful post. You're a good writer :)

  9. Goshh... I cried (can't believe it)

  10. Damia Azmi,Fighting wont solve anything isn't it? But oh well, thanks! :) x

    Farah Adilla, Oh wow o__o